13 dreams, 38 associations
The matrix got in touch with an oscillation of despair and hope, the barrenness of the earth and its riches, men and women who cannot be fruitful, the only form of sex is masturbation. The genders are dangerous to each other. There were images of people carrying drugs in their stomachs; risking innocuous -inoculations; excavating the temple of Inanna the goddess of the underworld (are we ready to enter it?), the bat that claws to the flesh of the dreamer, clinging to the left arm evoking the images of the vaccinations.
Those images evoke the present concern with Covid and with the huge impact of vaccinations, connected to the fear of losing control and of interference both with ‘normal’ physiological and psychological functioning.
They may also, at another level, be in touch with a much larger phenomenon, that of life on the planet which is only mildly affected by human life and decisions. Epochs (million of years) of desertification have alternated with epochs of floods, glaciation with ice melting, extreme temperatures with epochs of planetary conditions favourable to the growth of life. It seemed that the matrix faced for brief moments the fact that the planet may carry on its course with or without homo sapiens.
The facilitators hypothesised that there was hope present when the matrix could look fully at despair, paradoxically hope was lost when the matrix started to look for hope. By looking the matrix potentially lost the grip on extremely uncomfortable realities.
Planetary cycles of change and impact on humans. Extinction event. Maybe end of Homo Sapiens Epoch.
We have no power. Journey to humility- we are not that powerful. We can’t destroy the planet but it can destroy us.
Africa- mines- taking resources from Africa for the rest of the world. Paranoia that Africa will come back and get us for only taking from them- or the earth will get back at us as a species.
Prostitutes or sex workers? How words have an influence on possibility to change something. Organisers- organising themselves to have a proper contract/union etc. People who have been on the fringe.
There was a dreamlike quality to the matrix itself. One dreamer had to check if she was actually dreaming on waking. Liminality of boundary between worlds was becoming thin- experience of not knowing which side of the dream they one is on- am I in the dream or am I in the waking. Host had the question at one point whether they were dreaming or typing someone else’s dream.
Carrying our own toxicity to some extent.
Dream about train and two men administering toxins- about suspicion and confusion around vaccines- two shots. She knew the third shot would be poison. ‘An innocuous man’/inoculation.
Bewilderment- government that we most trust are in charge of vaccinations- how can we trust what they are putting into us? Scary.
Perhaps war in sight, some dreams ended abruptly mid action- isn’t there more? Excavators of a post apocalyptic future- finding this civilisation of ours which is now being buried in the underworld.Tanks- kept appearing. Leonard Cohen- ‘Inana I am ready my Lord’. Submerged by Covid- but during this matrix I felt Covid is one episode. Being in touch with a larger ending. First time that I got a sense that there was something beyond Covid.
D1- I am in the house of a family- husband, wife and three children (one boy, two girls). Couple seem to be my friends, returning after school function. Younger girl did well but didn’t win, she is upset and we find out she is adopted and is from a lower tribe which is why she did not win. Parents console her and try to make her understand. All are looking after her wellbeing. Youngest daughter 5yo watching and feeling left out. I hold her and feel connection with her.
D2- Inside a two or three storey building- dilapidated, browns and muddy yellows. Everything seems run down and old. I am standing at the edge of a room around the door- two other women in room- I am speaking with them and they tell me they have guns. Seems to be a women’s hostel/living space for women. I have come to collect something or talk to them about something.
D3- Cannot go into details as very confusing- I remember only pieces of the dream. My wife and I were in a big family meeting- maybe a holiday- we were smuggling drugs in our bodies. Wife says she is feeling sick. I am scared that something could happen. Small bags of drugs in our stomachs. Tell wife to go to bathroom to get straight and drink some water. She goes and everyone notices, and notices my fear and asks me what is happening with my wife. ‘Is there something bad? Is she feeling sick?’ Fear and turmoil in what was supposed to be a regular family meeting- could end tragically.
A1- Dream about drugs in the body- had a discussion with my wife last night about people who feel uncomfortable to be vaccinated- untested chemicals going into the body, whether or not it is harmful. Read an article on people who feel they are being forced to be vaccinated to get a vaccine passport. Uncomfortableness and insecurity around drugs at the moment.
A2- Drugs stored in stomach- reminded me of the movie ‘Lucy’- how her stomach was used and how she ends up seeing and understanding a lot more.
A3- with all three dreams- women and little girls are dangerous and are kept away from everyone else.
D4- Cousin of mine who is often angry and aggressive and has mild mannered husband tells me that her husband wants to talk to me. He is furious with me. I am completely shocked and have no idea why. This innocuous man is going to hit me- I am completely bewildered and terrified.
D5- I am in a long train and walking along the train. A man comes and wants to talk to me. He intoxicates me and I faint- wake up and can’t remember anything, continue to walk along the train. Same situation occurs with another man and then a third man comes and gives me a cookie which I know is poisoned- I think ‘Nice try’ and say ‘Thank you very much’ and throw away the cookie and look for a place to hide in the train.
A4- Numbers- two girls, one boy/two women/three men- two and three is coming up a lot. Brings me to ages two and three when we need protection and are vulnerable- need authority. What are good drugs and what are bad drugs? We hope someone knows what they are doing!
A5- Two or three shots needed to be protected against Covid-19.
A6- Cookie- ‘So that’s the way the cookie crumbles’
D6- On top of a terrace of a fairly tall building. A large water tank on the terrace. Stairs go up to the tank. Lean set of stairs. Water leaking profusely from tank- security guard is climbing the stairs to have a look and perhaps fix it. A couple of men are there. Cannot remember whether the leakage is stopped or not at the end of the dream.
A7- When I was about two I went with some kids to the flat roof to a water tank- peered inside and didn’t understand what it was- an endless pool- overwhelming.
D7- A big area of the earth without trees- nothing there- a big wall appears on my left, then another wall perpendicular to the first. This area of the earth was closed- the end- I saw only the walls and the sky.
A8- water tank- lockdown on the streets, fairly strong feeling of desertion everywhere, but prostitutes continued with their business in the dark- that didn’t seem to stop.
A9- Watching a family that lived on the streets- a set of buckets filled with water collected from leaking pipes- feeding off leakage from supply to homes. Sense of sadness and confusion and anger.
A10- Terrace and rooftop and barren area of the earth with the wall- looking at a painting in my house with a very flat perspective and a table. Get a sense that where we live is isolated and barren and has markers of definition- a wall or a tank. Tank- armies. Isolation- how perilous it is. Will we fall off the table or the roof or the terrace or bang up against the wall?
D8- Had a small patch of grass and trees amidst highways- raised high up. Two old acquaintances from high school- one person that I used to date and her best friend. This person was on a skateboard and wanted to do a trick- fell off our elevated position and fell onto the highway from quite a distance. Miraculously landed on both feet and hands like a cat. Friend smiled at me ‘She always lands well’.
A11- I live in England but my sister lives in Ontario Canada where I grew up- she told me Covid is disorganised there but government surreptitiously built new highway through green belt- no one knew about it. That thought upsets me a lot.
A12- People living off drips from pipes- prostitution going on at night- green belt cut through during difficult times… if people have to live off the dust of other people’s food- pejorative sense of prostitution- immoral earnings, thinking of the terrible things going on and virtue signalling from government and people in power to cover this up.
A13- Fairly big blast in India- not enough oxygen and states are fighting with central authorities to release more oxygen- has become a political fight and on the other hand 20 people died because of blast of large oxygen tank. People have to do all kinds of tests to travel by plane but not to travel by train- no precautions there and everyone moves around. One reality on media and social media but the ground reality is quite different. What is true? What are we really up to?
A14- Morals, is this the right drug? Prositution- brought to mind the bible story where everyone takes moral high ground against prostitute and Jesus says ‘Any of you who have not done anything wrong in your life please throw the first stone.’ Berating of cops- pointing out of the wrong but no talk about what is right.
D9- I was at my childhood home again (where I lived until 18). Driving a very modern SUV tanklike care (which I would never really drive). Go out of driveway two drives down and stop in front of parents’ house. In car I start to masturbate. Neighbour man comes out and in a friendly way says ‘What are you doing? You can’t be here?’ Tows her car with tow trunk surreptitiously. Dream in a loop- keep wanting to get off tow truck. End up in tow truck grave- father has to bail me out. Plead with my father to talk to the neighbour. ‘I’d rather not as I don’t know him. Best leave it alone.’- lack of authority and direction.
A15- Misheard as ‘lack of authority in erection’.
D10- I am in a large community hall. Seem to be 100+ people, all men. My father is in the dream with me. Everyone wearing white. Very clinical like. Sitting on a small table with four or five people. Larger table at one end of the room- older men sitting at that table. I bring up an issue about what is happening out there. The response from larger table is to mock me and say ‘This has been going on for 2000 years- you don’t have to worry about it.’ They laugh. I am overwhelmed by embarrassment- not knowing how to respond to large group of men. Dead silence. I am irritated and decide to keep my mouth shut.
A15- SUV dream. Fathers/government/protection/women- who can protect prostitutes and the women that possibly carry something dangerous for men. How women can protect themselves against scary aspects of man.
A16- Tightness in my chest- fear- as I sit in a city called Green Belt corrupted by politicians who want to build through forest reserve and refuge. Fast high speed train. Lying and danger. Train is very phallic. Proposing to build tunnels, destroy the land and the people who live here.
D11- I look at a little cave and see a bat inside. Bat offers me some food. I face the cave and bat comes onto my hair. I feel its nails in my skin. I am not afraid because I like bats, but I am worried because I know that if it bites me or hurts me I could have some problems with my health. I try to send it away softly, but it comes onto my face and clings on my nose, and so I am face to face with the bat and its face is like a little mouse. I try to remove the bat again and it comes onto my left arm. I try again and it hangs on my left leg. I feel the nails on my skin so clearly that I think blood is dropping away, and then I wake up and touch my hair to be sure that nothing is on my head- also check my legs.
A17- Prostitution- keeping your mouth shut. Associating what we have been hearing with two kinds of prostitute- authentic ones who are struggling and people who are like vultures- the powerful. Those not powerful have to keep mouth shut and struggling. Strange situation with football ‘Super League’. Fans hated it and whole thing fell apart- like metaphor of prostitution- brazen but called out and then had to shrink.
A17- Reminded by dream of caves and sitting down on tables- dream from a few night ago
D12- Boat journey across a rough sea to some islands in the distance. Winds sweeping in circle around the islands. Calm- on the island mostly [germans]? One large house full of students/youngsters and a friend of mine who is handy with trees and veggies- trying to hammer some stakes into the ground. Travelling off the island and passing by big apartment blocks with projections of different TV shows in the night shown on the flats as if they are all in their own world. ‘How intricate’. I arrive by boat somehow- passed over an archaeological site at shore line where they were starting to excavate the rooms of a temple complex dedicated to Sumerian goddess Inana. I was talking to person in charge of excavations- said I wanted to join and help. They weren’t very sure- ‘You will have to bend a lot to get through the narrow passages’- one excavator does short prayer and says ‘OK, it’s fine’ Led into complex where excavators live and eat and work. Monastery/seminary where they used to do all teaching for monks. Large hall with big oak tables, board to get number for where on table to sit- v organised. I was confused and then someone told me my number. I remember keeping confusion about where to sit. Later a storage room- which drawer should I pull from?
A18- Wife told me about a conversation with colleague about prostitution. In conversation with colleague she used the word ‘prostitute’ and colleague said ‘I think you mean sex worker.’ She felt embarrassed and ashamed at getting the language wrong- felt awkward and uncomfortable with making sense of change in language, and what it means to change language- in terms of sex workers. Curious about that.
A19- Last few sharings around women and prostitution and masturbation brought association around how in both Christianity and Islam, it seems to me, the female god/goddesses deposed and in place was installed a male dominated view of authority. Woman was replaced with archetypal image of succubus who spoils all human decency and is blood sucking demon who seduces man to possess his phallic power. Negative tone- can a woman not have pleasure? How does that become so negative in tone? Desperate search for what has caused wounding – male dominated authority. Wounding and shaming for both men and women and their feminity.
A20- Reminded of ‘Caliban and the Witch’. About witch hunts in late medieval Europe- also reminded of temple prostitution and how installing different deities- a question of which God is being worshipped, as a way of separating out what type of prostitution you deal with.
A21- Found myself having emotional reaction to mention of football ‘Super League’ within this matrix- feeling kind of insertion of male energy that was out of place- which is how actual events had felt. Flinching feeling- not about me.
A22- Got a strong association around bodies carrying drugs toxins- what a woman’s body can carry. What men think a woman’s body can carry. Creation? Birth? Sexuality? Can be disturbing- like seeing a woman outside being a prostitute or a sex worker and what are we allowed to be? What are we allowed to carry within our bodies?
A23- Last comment triggered something very uncomfortable- feeling lots of things listening to all the associations- gathering this into something that makes sense… associate comments and previous associations with how we men perceive women- women are either prostitutes/witches/selfish when someone mentions masturbation in the SUV. Strange for me how we as a whole talk about the role of women- not in this group but in society as a whole. I feel that we are hitting hard on women. Trying to get my thoughts in order. As men, we are struggling to be a group that is better qualified to deal with the crisis than women. First dream of adopted child- I have a sister who was adopted 35 years ago.
A24- Theme throughout dreams- isolated between men and women. Feminine and male are not sharing together in dream. Women with guns- women in SUV- barren land. No sharing of the sexes.
D13- I was with some people in their 20s- it was late at night and I arrived at the hostel where I would stay for the night. Middle aged couple- middle class. Man opened door. Hoping that woman would come with and spend the night. Turned round and asked her- she wants to but makes it very elaborate and difficult although I ask straightforward question. Give up trying to convince her. Don’t want to play games. I wonder who else would need a roof- old friend of mine, very masculine type guy was standing among my friends ‘You need a place to crash?’ He comes in. He takes up 2/3 of the bed- I am on the edge. I go into another room which is empty. Place shoes under the sink. Curtains are open and morning light coming in. Go downstairs and help to make breakfast.
A25- Strong implications of gender- friend told story of a few male friends who went out fishing with a net. They got one fish and biggest man said ‘I’ll have it.’ And took fish and went off.
Dream Reflection Dialogue
A26- Most dispiriting of all matrices- captured by woman who talked about barrenness. Material presented was of a barren world- in which there was to be no transformation. Highway driven through country of green trees. Relations between men and women banned. Image of girl left out- something left out in this material- anything that might represent something more hopeful or transformative. Dark world- why? Why do we find ourselves here at this stage of the pandemic.
A27- Makes me think about first dream- linking to the barrenness- left out girl. Also adopted girl from lower tribe who could not do well at school- because of this. You cannot change where you are born. Unmovable. Thinking of barrenness- two dreams about recurring danger- long train and repeated fainted- and same scene happening again, danger which cannot be avoided- dreamer looks for place to hide but scene seems to repeat itself. Same with the bat who keeps repeating the danger. Repetitive nature of danger. Barrenness- danger- lack of transformation.
A28- Exploitation of women on one hand- and women with guns. Causes such a schism in the mind- feels like something that cannot be integrated. Our definitions of women- who they can be or who they are- matrix has perhaps struggled with that.
A29- Within my body- a difficulty in settling after what we have all just shared. I don’t often wear headphones- usually only when we are all together in the matrix. There are voices that stay with me from last year’s series and this year’s series- they are a great comfort to me- connection all over the world. Today, struck by sense of danger and ‘assaultive-ness’ deeply held in my body.
A30- Barrenness based in fear- dream about drugs- who will get the vaccine first- who is deciding this. This is what is happening now in the pandemic. The first world will dole out the vaccine. People are quite frightened- isolation feeling. Who is guiding us here? Men or women?
A31- Barren land does not bear fruit. Perhaps a sense of discontent with any fruits that come forth from projects that we see in the world. What is needed for things to bear fruit- eg. If a woman is barren, is that because of her or the man? What is the root of barrenness.
A32- Africa- very very dark- recurring images of tables- in touch with South African voice- Table Mountain is burning in South Africe. Burning of Rhodes Statue at University. Train through green belt- Africa is a fertile image in the mind. Barrenness of global order looking for next place of harvest. Economic order of things- extraction and harvest.
A33- In touch with heat, anger- last year or year before last when the Amazon was burning- this whole thing around the green belt- barren means it will not give anything- watching documentary about Africa and S desert- it is barren and can be written off- but creates dust storm which feeds Amazon forest. How can we hold both of these and not write off what is barren.
A34- Pictures of Mother Earth. Theme of male and female- how we try to get the best and the rest and all your can measure and see and give value, and pull out value. Last dream with fish- only one fish in net and biggest man takes in- taking and giving nothing back. Female part of the Earth is totally exhausted- barrenness.
A35- I live in third world country and got stuck with numbers 2 and 3- felt connection with mention to accident in oxygen plant which caused many deaths. Dichotomy between first world and third world- in my country 1000 people die every day and we don’t have vaccines. I feel very anxious about it, and very angry about it- I feel that I don’t belong here. All these associations and dreams remind me of that and make me feel more anxious.
A36- Holding onto hopefulness that dust bowl becomes nutrients. Startling. Maybe we are feeling fatigue and powerlessness. ‘Wings of Desire’- angel has to hear everyone’s feelings and thoughts and is powerless.
A37- We can take but we can also give. No hope. A lot of moral issues to do with women- but not to do with the resources of earth. Call for us to take more of our authority with regards to morals and ethics. There is hope there. Relevant only for humans, not for animals or fishes- it’s us.
A38- It is Earth Day today
Blog compiled by Leslie Brissett, Franca Fubini, Jean Cooper and Emily Kyte.
Image: Feline Authority, with black corvid bird, a Social Dreaming illustration by Juliet Scott 2020 (detail)